Sam has graduated university

I know, I know...it's been about that long since we've posted here...much has transpired. Sorry to keep you all waiting. I've got a moment of peace here before my man date comes to pick me up for the Laker game, and Marne and Sam have left to go see Gramma and Grandpa Osten's. So it's just me, Jerry, some beers, and that series of tubes we call the Internet. I figured instead of poring through lurid graphic material and searching for the latest woodworking gadgets (as good as porn for woodworking junkies), I could do something constructive like updating the blog.
Sam has had his first bath and his first bottle since last time. He hasn't done anything disastrous in the tub. I'm still waiting for that though. He tinked on some clean dishes in the dish dryer next to the sink where we wash him, but no big deal. I'm still waiting for the big bath blowout...I know it's coming. I think he's waiting for my thumb to heal so I can be more up in the mix during bath time...then he'll have his vengeance. OH, you haven't heard about my thumb? Oh my... we'll save that for later...this blog is about Sam, not me. As far as the baths go, he's well-mannered during them, doesn't cry much. And he smells so nice after. Marne bought some fancy shampoo for him, but I'll tell you: worth every penny. Very pleasantly-odored lad after a lathering of that slop.
So yeah, he's had a bottle now too. I fed him, which was really cool. The bottle is instant anti-fussiness potion. He caught right on to it too, no problem. And then next feeding, he went right back to the breast with ease. So he's very talented. Probably the smartest child in the world, of course.
He's real fat now. He weighs almost 10.5 lbs. Lots and lots of chins. He even has more than one neck. It's pretty impressive. He's put on about 40% of his body weight in a month. That would be like seeing me this Christmas, and by the time our big annual MLK day party rolls around, I'd be tippin' at a solid 310. That's a lot of Costco Pizza. I imagine it takes a tremendous amount of energy for the body to be able to process so many calories and put on all that weight, so you'd think he is really sleepy all the time. But in fact he is quite noisy. Quite noisy.
He makes a lot of noise while he sleeps even. Lots of grunting. It's pretty funny. I'm not afraid to say it's a bit obnoxious, but it's also kind of funny to listen to. He sounds like a little ape or something. Do apes even grunt? I don't know, but the analogy sounded legitimate.
Sam got to meet all kinds of people at Thanksgiving, which Marne bravely agreed to having at our house. I was ready to blindly ram ourselves into it, no matter where it was, but the only way I could convince Marne to agree to something was at our house, so at least she could retreat to a familiar place for feeding or to calm him if he got fussy. I suppose I was little naive, but I didn't care. Don't mess with my gravy, fool...I need that stuff...I wasn't about to go without my mom preparing T'Giving dinner for me. Which, by the way, she totally did. She made most of what we ate, set up every thing, and cleaned up everything with my dad. Amazing job, and I'm so thankful for them. It was a great Thanksgiving. We had Aunt Lynne, Uncle Mark, Grandma Miller, my folks, and my little sisters. Sam was so nice during dinner too. He didn't squawk at all. And he loved meeting everyone.
This weekend, he got to meet his Great Grandma Pieroni, and his Great Aunt Cheryl. He liked them very much. BTW, we have pics of all this, but I don't time to post them now...maybe after the game tonight, or tomorrow.
So my thumb...yeah. I sliced the inside of it from tip to end wide open with a chisel one night. Almost down to the bone. I was pretty ashamed of myself, because after having to go to the ER for splitting my head open in the garage, I was under strict orders from the Mrs. to be careful in there. But I was using not-sharp tools, so I had to exert a lot of force, and it slipped and cut me all open. I took myself to the ER because I felt so bad that I had done this...I wasn't going to burden Marne with it...she was feeding Sam when it happened. I had to hide the bloody ragged-up mess behind my back, and just walked in with my tail between my legs, and told her I'm going to the ER, and I'b back later. So I came back at 1:30am with 13 stitches in my thumb. I have a picture of it, but I figure I shouldn't post it. It's pretty rad though. Shortly thereafter, you'll be happy to know I sharpened all my chisels, so they cut nicely and don't require excessive force to use. Also, if you're ever using chisel, don't shove them in the direction of your hands. That's the lesson I learned. Use a vise.